her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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