Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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