how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Found the puke drawer
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
