bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
