Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
