I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i wish my penis had a tongue
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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