Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Bring me that man meat
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize