shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
