I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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