I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
