This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
