there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
