What a fucking waste of an outfit
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Randomize
