seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
