Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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