this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
