please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
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