We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
