I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
