Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
