I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize