What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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