just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
