im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize