The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
