Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
