I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
