I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
