And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
