I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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