dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize