I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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