I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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