just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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