Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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