even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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