i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize