I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My apartment stinks of burning failure
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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