Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
