How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
