The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
