Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
