WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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