I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize