sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
