i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
