FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
