is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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