i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
