So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
