We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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