It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
