"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The power of my boobs compel you
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
