Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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