also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
this beer tastes like vomit already
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
