I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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