hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
