In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
