can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
