worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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