Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
sarcasm needs its own font
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
