How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
