i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I believe in your delicious
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Your penis caused this!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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