ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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