dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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