You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
