it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
