she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
