my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
