Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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