Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
