yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
