honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
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We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize