You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
