So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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