i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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