im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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