If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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